In honor of Civilization V’s recent release, Brentalfloss steps up to answer the question that has plagued humanity since 2005: What if the Civilization IV menu theme had lyrics officially endorsed by “Baba Yetu” composer Christopher Tin?
Be immortal, rule as you see fit, just one click and you can decree shit
From Civ 1 to Civ Revolution, it’s your job to find the solution
Need advice from somebody wiser? Just ask Elvis, he’s your advisor
Everybody thinks you’re nobody important
If this were Fight Club, you’d be Edward Norton.
A gimp, a geek, a shrimp… they call you weak they call you wimp (and so lame!)
Little do they know that you’re a man of power
You can conquer peoples hour after hour
They’d fear you if they lived in the borders of your Civ!
So keep playing Civilization, take good care of your little nation
Start a war with ancient Egyptians, spread your equally valid religion
Win with science, culture, or napalm
Watch out, Ghandi might drop the A-bomb
You can show your neighbors you love them,
Or just beat the dog shit out of them
Oh-ho, KEY CHANGE MOFO!
When you’re playing Civilization, history becomes your creation,
Learn to write before you can read and build the Taj Majal right in Cleveland!
Keep your wits and your sense of humor
Watch out for that prick Montezuma (He’s a douchebag)
You can change the future a lot, see?
You can even make Jewish Nazis
If it’s in your imagination, it can be your civilization
(Civilization is the shit I hope they don’t drop the ball when they bring it to Facebook!)