We don’t know if Professor Hubert Farnsworth, inventor of the Finglonger, coined the term ‘Megafonzie’. We can assume that one Fonzie is the amount of coolness generated by Arthur Fonzarelli but his coolometer tells us that two kids acquiring a lot of swag by dishonest means rates 40 megafonzies
One millihelen is enough beauty to launch one ship. I could make a ’she floats my boat’ joke here, but I’m bigger than that. Incidentally, another definition of the Helen is in terms of the number of women that one woman will, on average, be more beautiful than – one Helen being the quantity of beauty required to be more beautiful than 50 million women (the number of women estimated to have been alive in the 12th century BC).
1 Emmet = 1.21 Gigawatts, or the amount of power required to operated the flux capacitor in a modified DeLorean DMC-12. GeekDad note – when describing the Emmet, it’s pronounced ‘Jigga’ watt. There was briefly some debate as to whether this should be called a ‘lloyd’ or a docbrown’, But for simplicity (and to honour the character rather than the actor – though don’t get me wrong, Christopher Lloyd rocks) I’ve gone for ‘Emmet’.
I’m sure I’ll take a lot of flak for this, but take it as a suggestion, at least – a standard unit of geekiness called the Frink, and that it be measured on the ‘Hoyvin-Glayvin’ scale. ‘Simpsons’ fans won’t need to ask why. To figure out where you fall on the Hoyvin-Glayvin Scale, I’ve compiled a handy reference:
0 Frinks – thought the JockDad April Fool’s Prank was a good direction for this blog.
10 Frinks – believes Greedo fired first.
20 Frinks – you’re the family friend who ‘knows’ computers.
30 Frinks – on Twitter, but only following Ashton and Oprah.
40 Frinks – you don’t hate sci-fi, but don’t have an opinion on things like Kirk vs. Picard either.
50 Frinks – You’re the family friend who actually does know computers. You probably watch the Battlestar Galactica re-runs, too.
60 Frinks – Solidly geeky. Almost stereotypically so.
70 Frinks – Geeky enough to know geeks don’t like fitting into stereotypes.
80 Frinks – You’ve probably attended several cons, contemplated which dice to bring to the game, and own at least one Starfleet/Colonial Fleet/Galactic Empire uniform.
90 Frinks – It’s been a long time since you told a joke that didn’t reference C#, Linux or the Dune saga.
100 Frinks – Aren’t you Dr. Sheldon Cooper?